Since satire and reality have converged — Trump’s version of the Boy Scout Oath as spoken at his sentencing:
My honor, I have done my best
To avoid my duty to God and my country and to disobey the Rule of Law;
To fleece (and denigrate) other people at all times;
To pardon myself for not being physically strong, mentally awake and morally straight.
But in a twist of fate — at the Supreme Court, Neil Gorsuch casts the deciding vote disallowing a president to pardon himself!