Since satire and reality have converged — Trump’s version of the Boy Scout Oath as spoken at his sentencing:

My honor, I have done my best

To avoid my duty to God and my country and to disobey the Rule of Law;

To fleece (and denigrate) other people at all times;

To pardon myself for not being physically strong, mentally awake and morally straight.

But in a twist of fate — at the Supreme Court, Neil Gorsuch casts the deciding vote disallowing a president to pardon himself!