Once again, Steven, you’ve nailed it. If I could borrow your hammer for just a moment (and please know, I’m not making fun of the demented and senile) here are Orrin Hatch’s two statements annotated:

  • “It’s incredibly discouraging to see such a vile attack on such a decent man. (Orrin thought they were talking about Trump)
  • Shame on any publication that would print this — and shame on the politically motivated, morally bankrupt character assassins that would attempt to sully a man’s good name. (Still attempting to defend Trump)
  • I know Rob. I’ve known him for years, both as a close friend and as a personal advisor. He is kind and considerate towards all. The country needs more honest, principled people (Still assumed he was defending Trump in light of whatever his latest indiscretion was)
  • like Rob Porter, (‘Rob who?’, Orrin whispered to his press secretary, who was just then figuring out the rest of America is not into pedophilia and sexual abuse, but alas Orrin continued …)
  • which is why I hope that this cynical campaign to discredit his (Trump’s) character ultimately fails.”

After realizing they were talking about Rob Porter and, further, that his original comments were worse than farting in church …

  • “I am heartbroken by today’s allegations. (After Rob pulled me out of the shower, I specifically asked him if he’d pursued anyone else in this manner)
  • In every interaction I’ve had with Rob, he has been courteous, professional, and respectful. (He always treated me gently and was only rough when I asked for it)
  • My staff loved (it, er …) him, and he was a trusted advisor. (when it came to how to treat women …)
  • I do not know the details of Rob’s personal life. (because lack of recall is the best GOP defense in the Mueller era ..) Domestic violence in any form is abhorrent. (language my staff now adds to every public satement and tweet) and I am praying for Rob and those involved.” (you can never go wrong with references to prayer and God)

We be one happy Gang Of Perverts! Go GOP!

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Engaged citizen, poet, musician, humorist, family man. I value irreverence, soulfulness, and a big heart. Offering insight, introspection, shock & aw shucks!

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