My sources tell me Donald was radicalized by Melania, who is under the control of “Bad Vlad”, the name Melania affectionately gave the Russian leader. Putin’s ultimate plan is to have the self-proclaimed world’s greatest negotiator enter into an agreement with the Kremlin that will obligate the U.S. to cover all Russia’s investments in achieving world domination. It remains to be seen who will be 1st and 2nd in command of this new world order, but based on who’s tougher, the most likely scenario is Putin will be CEO and Trump his VP of Marketing.

This explains why Donald has been so enamored with Putin, including his new habit of forcing Melania to watch him prance around the living room without his shirt on. Supposedly, an encrypted communication was intercepted between Melania and Putin in which she complained, “I never signed up for dis.” It’s possible hot-for-Melania Putin has facilitated her return to Slovenia, where they will rendezvous.

Sorry, but my sources must remain anonymous, but here’s a hint: “Hi Devin!”

Written by

Engaged citizen, poet, musician, humorist, family man. I value irreverence, soulfulness, and a big heart. Offering insight, introspection, shock & aw shucks!

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store