Hey Steven, Joining your excellent rant on short notice — best I could do is The Who’s “Who Are You” — the question everyone is asking about Trump:

Everyone:
Who are you?
Knee, Pee, Laundry!
Who are you?
No Class, Yuge Ass!
Who are you?
Ghoul, Fool, Cruel Tool!
Who are you?
Mad Vlad’s Comrade!

Trump:
I woke-up the day after the Summit
In Helsinki, I was good
I got a bit confused in my remarks
When my “would” wasn’t “wouldn’t”, as should

I staggered back to Air Force One
Thinkin’ Vlad’s my first Czar affair
I remember punchin’ on Melan-ya
’Til she called me Trump von Hair

Everyone:
What’s he got on you? (Who are you? Knee, Pee, Laundry)
We really wanna know (Who are you? No Class, Yuge Ass)
Vlad won’t tell the truth (Who are you? Ghoul, Fool, Cruel Tool)
‘Cause we think we really know (Who are you? Mad Vlad’s Comrade!)