Allan, on the chance Melania would respond to a musical appeal, this can be sung to the tune of “My Darling, Clementine”:

Oh Melania, das vedanya
Yes, that’s Russian for goodbye
You don’t need him, just excrete him
Leave this shithole, don’t be shy

Sex with Stormy, isn’t normy
You don’t know what he brought home
Avoid the rash, just take his cash
Mess-up his hair, then hide his comb

Oh Melania, das vedanya
Move-up to a world-class spy
Hifalutin, shirtless Putin
Irony — he owns your guy