Allan, in related news … Donations from the Trump kids will arrive shortly in Puerto Rico. Health and Human Services Secretary Tom Price will personally fly a government-funded private jet to deliver white wine from Trump’s Charlottesville winery. Ivanka is sending jewelry and designer handbags, which will be flown-in directly from where they’re manufactured in India, Bangladesh and China.

Not to be outdone, Don Jr. is sending 100 50-gallon oil drums of his famous hair gel. Don Sr. questioned whether that made sense since all Puerto Ricans will also get MPRGA hats, but in an early-morning tweet said, “His hearts in the white place and it probably didn’t don on him.”

In news related to the related news, … Sarah Huckabee Sanders insisted POTUS never told the islanders wearing the MPRGA hats that PR stood for Puerto Rico. “Considering the Trump family’s heartfelt gestures, PR obviously stands for Public Relations, and anyone suggesting the president lied is fake news!”, she deadpanned from the podium.